fantasies

It’s only 8pm, but I’m ready for bed.
Not because I’m sleepy, but because of that deliciously haunting dream that has come to me every night this week.
Every night it’s a little different, and every night it goes a little bit further into the fantasy.
My toes are curling just thinking about it.
But even as my toes are curling, and I’m getting butterflies in the very bottom of my tummy, my heart is hurting too.
Because I know, even with what has already happened, it’s not going to progress any further.
Maybe I should just stop thinking about it and go to sleep.
But then again, maybe this is telling me something.
Maybe this is life’s way of forcing me to stop being a scaredy cat and live for a change.
Maybe I’m just thinking too far into what is just a fantasy.
Once again, I’m stuck </3